It never fails that when I go on vacation I get there and it seems that I packed all of the clothes I NEVER wear. So the entire trip I feel like, "What am I wearing?" I feel awkward in my own skin. Does anyone else suffer from this? I don't actually think I bring weird clothes - I think something more is going on. Well, it has happened again - with the move. I look in my closet and I think, "Where did all of my clothes go?" And I really cannot recall what I wore on a normal day in Kingwood. Isn't that weird? It's like I've lost some piece of my identity. It's probably packed in some random box just like every other thing we're missing. So, in my new clothing crisis I go back to the drawing board and wonder what I want to dress like now. It seems like you would know but I don't! I think the heart of the anxiety you feel is because everyone you meet is new and so you are in a constant state of first impressions. And so you want to express your best and most authentic self. At least I do. But who is that? Weird to be thinking about it so much but I just feel like - What the heck am I wearing? It doesn't help that I've gotten a huge load of hand me downs from a good friend(thanks Tyan) and so I've got to integrate that in too. (I am sure at this point in my post some of you are thinking, "big deal - quit being so self concious and get living." But oh well - this is not a real deep blog.) So in the mean time I think I just need to wear the one thing I feel ok in every day until I slowly feel normal again. Unless one of you has a better solution? Let me know...
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
What am I wearing?
It never fails that when I go on vacation I get there and it seems that I packed all of the clothes I NEVER wear. So the entire trip I feel like, "What am I wearing?" I feel awkward in my own skin. Does anyone else suffer from this? I don't actually think I bring weird clothes - I think something more is going on. Well, it has happened again - with the move. I look in my closet and I think, "Where did all of my clothes go?" And I really cannot recall what I wore on a normal day in Kingwood. Isn't that weird? It's like I've lost some piece of my identity. It's probably packed in some random box just like every other thing we're missing. So, in my new clothing crisis I go back to the drawing board and wonder what I want to dress like now. It seems like you would know but I don't! I think the heart of the anxiety you feel is because everyone you meet is new and so you are in a constant state of first impressions. And so you want to express your best and most authentic self. At least I do. But who is that? Weird to be thinking about it so much but I just feel like - What the heck am I wearing? It doesn't help that I've gotten a huge load of hand me downs from a good friend(thanks Tyan) and so I've got to integrate that in too. (I am sure at this point in my post some of you are thinking, "big deal - quit being so self concious and get living." But oh well - this is not a real deep blog.) So in the mean time I think I just need to wear the one thing I feel ok in every day until I slowly feel normal again. Unless one of you has a better solution? Let me know...
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8 comments:
All I know is, I'm not coming out there to go shopping with you again! After hours upon hours and piles of clothes in the dressing room of Anthropology, I'm done! Actually it was pretty fun. They treated us like celebrities in there. Bringing us item after item to see if it 'suited your fancy'.
i wish i didn't understand how you feel, but i do. when i feel this way, i can't feel comfortable in anything except good jeans, an american apparel white t-shirt and by security blanket classic chucks. i figure you can't be judged too much with something so plain. maybe they think i'm plain...you can't win!
Feel free to chuck any of those hand me downs - it won't hurt my feeling a bit!
And recently I've been doing the same thing - standing in front of my closet thinking "Really? This is what I have to choose from?" Not a fun feeling.
No Tyan - I would be in total dire straights without your hand-me-downs. Since I wear something of yours almost everyday, I really wonder what the heck I wore before! I like hand-me-downs - it's the only time you can get TONS of new stuff all at once - at least for me.
Reading that again, isn't that kinda sad?
Meg, I feel the same way right now. My face looks as broken out as it did in Accutane days long past, and my short-hair-growing-out looks so frizzy and puffy in the Florida humidity. Oh, will we ever make friends looking so?
So...I remember a time when you really didn't care what you wore. It is so much fun to hear about your life now. Having moved to 3 countries in the last 6 years I know all about having to make a good first impression everyday for awhile
Vanalee - I always cared- the sad thing is that it appeared to everyone else that I didn't!!! That's being a teenager...
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