Well, if you've been reading this blog for a while you've probably heard of our dog Jenny. We are so divided in our feelings toward Jenny and I'm about to tell you a little bit of why. That was poor grammar but oh well. We got Jenny when she was a year and a half old. She was found as a puppy wandering the streets and given to any organization that provides foster homes for dogs until they find a permanent home. We were not the first family to give her a try. She had gone to two separate owners and had been brought back for reasons unknown to me. We got Jenny last summer so we have now had her just over a year.Dog ownership is a confusing thing with some friends telling you that you should cherish your dog as a child while others encourage you to get rid of that thing as quickly as you can. And there are all of these things you are supposed to do to help your dog be a good dog - socialization in the first 16 weeks at the top of that list. Well, Jenny didn't get socialized in ANY good way. As far as I can tell she had a pretty rough life for the first few months. Which according to some dog sites - is everything. So Jenny is a "sweet" dog to us. She is not real friendly but she does lick us all the time - which I have just read isn't her being friendly - it's her showing her submissiveness. Usually that would be a good thing but Jenny is a scared dog. She is almost always sulking around with her tail between her legs - going from person to person licking them. She is rarely fun - in fact the longer we've had her the less fun she is...she just wants to retreat and be alone a lot of the time. And now when it comes to walks - she is a pain. If we meet or see no one then it's okay - but if we see another human being or dog - randomly Jenny goes nuts - like I want to kill you nuts. And I guess that has to do with her fear. She is terrified that they are all out to get her. The other day Andrew accidentally let her out and she ran out to an old woman who was walking past the house and starting into her - with raised hair, teeth bared, ready to kill. The woman was defending herself with an umbrella! How shameful you feel when you have to rescue other people from your totally terrifying dog! But then people come over and she is totally fine...what gives? I guess she feels safe in our home. She is chasing and barking at people more and more and we are getting worried that someone is going to get hurt. Tonight we decided to go for a walk through a lovely park but wouldn't you know it that a bunch of friendly dogs ran up to meet jenny - who was on a leash - and she went nuts and started a dog fight! Oh boy, the joys of dog ownership. We look with such envy at people with dogs that run around happily, tongues wagging, glad to meet anyone they come across.
So now here we are - I guess we could keep her under lock and key and make sure there is NO WAY she can get out - difficult with young kids - we could muzzle her for walks - and pay a bunch of money to a dog behaviorist. But why? Why put her through that as well as us? Part of me thinks Jenny is just an aggressive dog with ghosts creating such intense fear that she is past help. At least from us. You can't just give one of these dogs away to someone else and let it get EVEN worse. I always thought owning a problem dog would be less complicated than this...but maybe it never is. But more and more we are thinking the risk of keeping Jenny here on earth is not worth it. She'll be happier there and then we are sure that no one will ever get harmed by her.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
I am not saying we'll take your advice but I just wanted to write it all down and think about it...
I am not saying we'll take your advice but I just wanted to write it all down and think about it...
9 comments:
We have a dog. My husband LOVES dogs, I do not, though we really got lucky with the dog we got from a shelter. However, my advice comes in the form of this thought: if our dog wasn't as mild-mannered and friendly as she is, we would not still have her. In my opinion, unless you are a hard-core dog lover who NEEDS a dog no matter what breed or temperament, the only thing that makes having a dog worth all the stuff you have to do for it (like drop a surprise $240 at the vet cause your dog has 2 billion infections) is that it's a FAMILY dog. Like everyone likes it, it likes everyone, and it has a place in the family (not necessarily needing to be treated like one of your children, though).
Also a sidenote: we've never given our dog any kind of special classes or training. She doesn't get any socialization with other dogs except the occasional trip to the dog park, or being outside when our neighbor has his dog outside, and she is perfectly fine. She also had issues with her original owner and sometimes shows signs of submissiveness, but it's also my opinion that some of the recommendations for dogs are a little overrated and out of control.
There, I'm done. :)
Megan, you don't have to save the world. You don't have to save Jenny either. I think that guilt is getting in the way of the decision in the back of your mind. You can keep her, but don't feel guilty and responsible when she attacks old women walking down the street (ie you can still provide her with a home but with awareness). You can give her away, but don't feel guilty that you are abandoning her (you're not, dogs from shelters are hit and miss, like Stephanie said). There is only so much you can do in life, and right now you have to little kids and another on the way, so your plate is pretty full. hugs--am
I think you should get a Chauncey, I know Andrew would be a fan!
well - we don't have a dog yet, but plan on getting one. in my un-experienced opinion, if our dog was at risk of hurting someone, i probably wouldn't keep it. you definately don't want to have to deal with lawsuits or whatever might come if she does get nervous and attack someone. i really don't know - it's a hard thing to decide. my parents have a dog, and after seeing how much she has become part of their lives, i know it would be almost impossible to get rid of her. so there are my thoughts - probably not helpful. . . but there they are.
I made an appointment with a vet for tomorrow to talk about Jenny and see what our options are. I am nervous. I'll update after that...
Megan, reading your story about your dog reminded me of another story about a dog and a family with similar problems....you should totally listen to it. It is the Intro to a This American Life Show....it shows you that you just may not have a choice....anyways if you get some down time listen to it.
http://www.thislife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=316
when it all comes down to it, she's a dog, not a human. you need to put the safety of your family first. how would you feel if someone came over to your house and she bit someone's child? or if you were at the park and she bit a child? personally, i wouldn't risk it. good luck in your decision. i know it's not an easy one.
sheesh. that's a hard one. i have no absolutely no advice. i tend to be an underdog supporter, but this sounds like more than the average job.
Krystal has two words for you. Doggie Prozac.
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