What lies dimly at a distance...

Two years ago next week I found out I was pregnant and pretty much ever since then I've been in that same state. I've moved four times, lived in two different states, and Mike has changed jobs three times. Yet all that time I've been the same - pregnant. It's strange to me to realize that and I often wonder if I really even remember what it's like to not be pregnant anymore.
This is THE last photo taken of me before this whole thing started. It's amazing, isn't it? Look at that intelligent face...she doesn't realize that in a couple weeks time she will find out she's pregnant and that two years later she still will be. And that for four months after that she will still be. And she also doesn't realize how much she should enjoy her smaller body - her single chin, her slimmer arms and her small chest size. She feels fat but doesn't even really know the meaning of the word yet.
This is the very next photo taken of me. It's five months later on my wedding anniversary. It's also five days after the miscarriage. Look at her now, all she wants it to be pregnant - be careful what you wish for! This girl is devastated wondering if she will ever have another baby. How absurd a thought that seems when two years almost to the date after this photo she'll be having a baby - her second since this time.
And this is the last photo in our series. I took this of myself three days before the first day of my last period. Sorry to be so open but I've told so many strangers, nurses, and doctors the date of August 2nd that it doesn't really seem that personal any more. Now look at THAT face. I'd bet that within ten minutes of this photo being taken she's thinking about when her baby weight will be gone. I know she's thinking it would be her worst nightmare to find out she's pregnant again. That's a direct quote of something I said around this time. For a while I wished I could have warned her so she could prevent something in a couple weeks but now I think I'm glad it turned out the way it did. I don't know if I could say I would go back and get pregnant on purpose but I am excited to get another one of my children.


In the end, I often find myself telling complete strangers - usually thin women - that I haven't not been pregnant since 2006. I tell them so they'll give me a break for how chubby I am but I also tell them because even I can't believe it's been that long. I never ever would have planned it this way but I wouldn't change it. It's yet another lesson in my life that you NEVER EVER EVER know where you'll be in the future. And that's a good thing - God is always taking you somewhere better than you would have gone alone...

I read this GREAT quote last week and I already having it hanging on my wall:

"Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand."

Happy New Year, Ya'll!